Tissue STAT!

I hate those moments of unmitigated stupidity. Unfortunately I have these moments more regularly than I probably should. This morning, while driving, I was so thrilled at seeing the sun after weeks of rain and snow, I rolled all the windows in my car down to scrape off the snow and allow the sunshine in. Unfortunately, one of the windows was the sunroof. I never did things like that before having kids. Before I had kids, everything on my body seemed to work properly. Since I had kids, every part of my body has somehow gone awry. Anything that can leak, does, any logic or knowledge that I once possessed gone! I remember when I was a kid all the old women having tissues tucked in their sleeve, and thinking ‘who cries so often that they always need a tissue nearby?’ Looking back, I realize they were my age! I rarely cry, yet I am always leaking somewhere! My nose always runs, without any instigation, my eyes always tear up, without cause, I pee when I sneeze, laugh, or cough with any vigor. Nothing works properly anymore. Body parts that were not even involved in the making of these kids seem to be broken as a direct result of giving birth. How does this happen? Moreover, why no one feels they should tell you ahead of time? I am absolutely going to tell my kids: in fact, it will be in great detail! If I haven’t scarred them for life, I didn’t do enough… Something tells me I will always do enough to scar them for life.